Being a parent is a challenging task. One can derive a lot of joy from it, but sometimes we also have a sense of powerlessness. Especially when we make parenting mistakes. How to avoid them?
Parenting is quite an emotional and physical challenge. Work, home, children, hobbies, leisure – we would like to have time and energy for everything. Unfortunately, an excess of responsibilities often prevents us from doing so. Then frustration sets in, which often translates into our relationships within the family. We operate on autopilot and try not to waste time on things that are less relevant to the here and now. We don’t devote enough time to the children, after all, we need to get the house in order, do the shopping, finish a project for work. We promise ourselves that during the vacations we will make up for lost time. Tired parents often demand too much from their children and make mistakes that are hard to overcome later. See what the basic parenting mistakes are and learn how to avoid them.
One of the most common parenting mistakes is rigid adherence to rules. We have always received messages that consistency in parenting is the key. However, is this really the case? Sometimes letting go will do more good, it will show the human face of the parent and that the child’s feelings are important to him. Imagine that your son has had a very busy day (kindergarten, a friend’s birthday party at the playroom). You come home in the evening and tell him to arrange the toys he scattered in the morning. A tired child will certainly make a ruckus about it. He will have the impression that you do not pay attention to his needs, only the accepted rules count for you. Do not be afraid, letting go once in a while will not affect the child badly. Instead, it will show him that you listen to him and his needs count for you.
Don’t label your child as an eater, lazy or stubborn. Such sticking of patches does not bring good results (after all, if the child hears that he is lazy, why should he do what we ask him to do?). Instead, it’s better to say that we don’t like it when it behaves in a certain way.
A child needs to feel and hear that he is loved. Often, in the busyness of various matters, we forget to show affection. It is worth taking care of this, because children who feel loved develop better.
Children vie for a parent’s attention. They do it by all means available to them (performances, rhymes, requests to play together, walking behind the parent step by step, and even troublesome behavior such as screaming, crying, stomping). If your child is irritable and argumentative, consider whether you are spending enough time with him. Perhaps his behavior is an attempt to get your attention.
Children perform certain tasks more slowly than adults. However, it is not a good idea to cajole them into getting dressed or putting food on the table, as this way they practice these skills and will perform them faster in the future.
Every child is different. Comparing children leads to putting them into a pattern where someone is smart and someone else is dumb, someone is better and someone else is worse. Such a world is not conducive to establishing relationships with others. Let’s spare the child this.
main photo: pixabay.com/Inactive account – ID 27707
